It has been almost 3 months since Meg’s passing. When someone so dear passes, you spend time reflecting, imagining & hoping. Where is she? Is she happy? Is she scared? Does she watch us? Is she an angel? She must be an angel after enduring so much pain with such grace. Can she send us signs? Can she make beautiful things happen? Can she help those in need? Maybe she can fly…is she in the sun….the sunset….the wind….the snow? Meg and her life were symbolic of everything beautiful in life…truly.
We have all imagined how Meg’s soul and spirit travel and exist somehow, somewhere in this world. The poem below expresses my vision of Meg’s beauty in the afterworld. Meg loved the ocean….
She is a magnificent soul up above,
over a turquoise blue sea,
with the gift of vast paradise, through serenity
and forever wild beauty.
As the night moon glistens in the ocean,
listen…..gentle music whispers for her.
An always pure heart,
her sweet angel dance is a warm wind.
She has grace and time….
The strength of our family has truly been tested and I have learned that family extends far beyond the doors of our home. Even those we had never known have reached out to us. I now understand why many people who have been impacted by cancer say that the experience has given them many blessings. It is true. We have seen blessings, miracles, signs and love beyond words.
There are many that share in our pain for the loss of Meg. We help each other along each day…taking turns being weak and then strong.
Jer, misses his bear hugs with Meg and belly laughs with her at the dinner table each evening. They used to laugh so hard together that Jer would choke and cry happy tears. Now, he has a tough time after work each day….expecting to see Meg sitting at the kitchen table, on the computer, when he comes in the door. Thank G-d for Daisy & Roxy & our kitty, BC. We all gather together at dinnertime. Meals are healing.
Uncle GG has taken things especially hard. He & Meg shared so much….they shared fun, love and time, but more than anything….it seemed that they shared a special bond in their souls. Uncle GG was there…at the house…at the Mall…at the hospital. Who else had the patience to go make-up shopping with Meg?…or to play hours of Wii baseball? GG has so many special memories….but, it hurts.
Aunt Spagetta has been sad alot. She loved all of the special times that she shared in Meg’s life…..shopping and dinners out….and talks about growing up and dating. It’s hard for Spagetta…she and GG are both so sad….but she is strong and always has been our rock. Spagetta is driven and she seems like she feels better when she is doing something for HopeforMegan. I think that it makes her feel close to Meg….
Aunt Cindy transitioned back into a normal family life with Steve, Car & Jonathan, but I know that she still carries the weight of what we have all been through. She & Carli say that it’s hard not to think of Meg everyday when they look at our house next door. Hopefully, when Cindy drinks coffee from her Hakuna Matata mug, she feels a little less sad. Meg insisted on giving her that mug one night after a really long day at Children’s National Medical Center in DC. A special treasure…
Anna, Meg’s BF4L (Best friend for life)…..she has amazed us all with her strength and courage. By Meg’s side through everything….believing. I know that Anna misses picking up the phone each day after school and hanging out with Meg in our kitchen and family room. They sure made some strange and funny videos together! Anna & I talk most Fridays….we share Meg’s memories….thank G-d.
Hannah, another of Meg’s best friends….has a sensitive and beautiful heart. She and Meg shared talk of everything. I know that Hannah misses her talks with Meg. There was always some life issue to discuss and Meg would try to give some perspective into what seemed right or wrong. Don’t worry Hannah, Meg is watching over you….live your life and be happy…that’s what Meg wants for you most of all!
I am trying to re-discover myself. I still feel like a mom….but reality is confusing. I miss Meg so, but I know how much she loved me and I know that she wanted me to be happy. I try not to focus on the pain….but rather…. I focus on all of the joy that Meg brought. I hope to give back to others….that is what Meg truly enjoyed.
Megan lives on in our hearts and in HopeforMegan and we will find a way to spread hope and love and the belief in how special life truly is….
It’s after midnight…..good night.
Believe.
Joanne
Megan’s Mom
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Joanne and Jerry,
What beautiful thoughts and how you express them. My thoughts have been with you and a heavy heart is a lot to carry – yours is well, I cannot conceive it. I love you both and want my hug to comfort you. I wish I were an angel riding on your shoulder reminding you of what you have given Megan and to remind you that she loved every moment with you and that she is no longer suffering. Let the good stuff get you through taking one minute at a time. Believe…believe…believe Love, Alice
Im terribly sorry for your loss. From your stories she sounds like she was a really cool person. Your poem is beautiful, and i pray for your strength.
Hi Joanne,
My co-workers shared with me about Megan, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Having my son a few months ago has made me truly realize what an amazing gift a child can be. Your words that you have shared above about her are so beautiful. I am sure you feel blessed having her in your life for the time that you did…
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Daniela Sartori (BBG)
Hi Joanne,
I still think of Megan often. I sure hope your memories of her help you in your day to day life. You are an incredible woman ith strength beyond words. If you would like to get together some day and share some memories or just to sit I would love to spend some time with you. You can call me anytime- and I do mean anytime-or call Cheryl and Beany to get hold of me. My number again is 443-803-3049.
Love always and G*D Bless you and yours,
Tracey